tahturc: 2009

Everyone packed their bags and went to Ireland, where they had some adventures and bought property. Then they went to the Pacific Northwest and hung out there for a while. Then Thom said to Candice, lets go to Canada, specifically, Manitoba. So they went there. Years later, everyone would remember that as the worst part of the trip. There were lots of mosquitos and everyone was thirsty. Some people actually left early and took a plane to India. But then they came back a while later. Next, everyone went to Seatle where they visited the Space Needle. Beth didn't go up because she is afraid of heights.

From the Space Needle, Candice saw a 'super-cute' coffee shop she wanted to go to so they all went there. Candice doesn't really drink coffee. Marty loves coffee. Then they went grocery shopping, and all bought prepackaged sandwhiches to take with them on the flight to Arizona. Arizona was nice, and then they left.

"What now?" asked Joseph. Then they all went grocery shopping.

In the grocery store, Beth was trying to decide which bag of grapes to buy. Candice came by and pointed to a particular bag of grapes and said, "Those ones, buy them, they are the best."

Later that night, everyone took a spontaneous trip back to Canada to go skinny-dipping in some mountain springs. But no one had brought tents to they had to go back to civilization to sleep. Marty couldn't sleep, so he took a long walk around outside and thought, 'I should drink less coffee.' Then in the morning, everyone had doctor's appointments. The doctor said everyone was fine, except for Beth, who he was worried about.

"Has something been bothering you, Beth?" but really there was nothing wrong, she was like, "no seriously I'm fine. I'm healthy and happy and ready for our trip to Africa later this afternoon." Later that afternoon, everyone took a trip to Africa.

The next day, everyone went back to Ireland to meet up with some old friends. Marty was jealous of George, who was getting eyes from a pretty girl at the pub. Marty thought, 'what am I doing here. I want to go back to Africa, that was fun.' The next day everyone went to Panama, to visit the canal.

"It really is a beautiful piece of work," said George, who had a particular respect for engineering. It was the same thing he had said when they visited Machu Pichu a few years ago. While they were in Panama, Juliet, Collin and Candice bought some coke. Candice did too much, got a heart attack and died. She had a viking funeral the next day, they floated her body out into the Altantic ocean and lit it on fire. Everyone was crying except for Beth, whose tearducts were removed at the age of seven because of a rare and fatal infection she contracted from some meat that she ate at a barbeque for employees of Office Depot. Beth's mom used to work at Office Depot.

After Candice's funeral, everyone went to Norway, where only Thom had been before. Thom said, “try the snowcones, they are the best.” And truly, the snowcones everyone had in Norway were some of the best in recent memory. From there, they all went to Sydney Australia where they got in a fight over whether or not they wanted to go to the opera. In the end, no one went to the opera. Marty and George went out drinking together and hobbled home with their arms around each other, talking about how glad they were that they were friends.

“You're like a brother to me,” said George, and Marty was like, “Yeah!”

The next day, everyone went to Eastern Europe and got in some adventures with some mobsters. Then the next day, Collin told everyone that he had unfinished business back in Eastern Europe, and that he would have to leave them for a while. Everyone was pretty sure that he married a hooker, but in reality, he had struck gold on the black market and wanted to rest on his laurels. That night, they went for a nice home-cooked meal at Joseph's mom's place in rural Illinois.

“Oh what a cute great bunch of fine young men and women you all are,” said Joseph's mom. The next day, they got a phone call from an old friend who was working on the new EuroDisney theme park in Scotland. They all went to see what he was building, and George said, “Well this really is a beautiful piece of work,” and it was. He took them out to a fancy opera where they had great seats with all the socialites etc. On the way out, even the naysayers admitted that it had been quite a production, and that someday, they really should go back to Sydney Australia and see that one opera. But they were pretty sure that a lot of time had passed since when they were in Australia and so the opera was probably not still runnning. Then they went to Costco, and then they all had optomitrist appointments.

Then Colleen took everyone to her special yoga class. They sat in a really hot room and did yoga and the sweat from the heat helped them to meditate or exercize. Afterwards, at a coffee shop, they got into an argument about whether or not the Loch Ness Monster was real, and decided that the only way to find out was to go there and find out. So they all went back to Scotland to see if the Loch Ness Monster was real.

Turned out, it wasn't real, so they went to Cabo, where many college students were on their spring break. Everyone was partying and having a great time, except for Beth who was sitting alone looking sad. Colleen asked,

“Beth you look unhappy, alsmost as if you would be crying if not for extenuating circumstances. What's wrong?”

“Well it's just that being in Mexico reminds me of Candice,” said Beth.

Colleen said, “That's kind of racist because we were in Panama when Candice died.”